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But I doubt that's usually the case, with most people who claim to be under someone else's "mental control." Rather, I believe this is a fantasy that they happen to find very pleasurable, so they like to pretend that it's true. Maybe in a few cases it goes beyond fantasy, and they are actually under the illusion (or delusion) that their mind is under the control of someone else. That sounds psychologically dangerous to me, although I'm certainly not a professional. Our society functions on the default assumption that our minds are our own, and we are not subject to mental invasion by external forces controlling us. If that sort of thing did actually happen, then it would require a HUGE overhaul of our legal system and also our mental health system, in order to deal with it. But it does not happen. At most, someone might have a delusion that it's happening, which is scary enough; and I would hope they would seek help for that.
That always interests me as an issue because I am not sure I really do consent.
I would suggest that if you cannot even be sure of your own consent, then this sort of relationship might not be good for you. Taken In Hand is based on the consent of both partners, and both partners need to be aware that they are consenting.
isn't it a bit like when you're with an abusive partner and cannot get away even though there are refuges and physical means of escape psychologically you can stay tied to that person for years unable to break free? In those cases yes you have a free consent to leave but you cannot exercise it because of the psychological position you have got yourself into?
No, I don't think it's like that at all. Because physical constraints and coercion are REAL, and this fantasy of "mind control" is an ILLUSION. People who cannot distinguish their illusions from reality do not belong in a Taken In Hand relationship, in my opinion. Maybe they don't belong in any relationship at all, until they can get clear on the distinction between fantasy and reality.