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Most people regard marriage as a partnership, the assumption being that both will contribute something to the marriage. My husband has always worked rather harder at contributing than I have, both on the work and the home front. I make more of an effort these days, but I still lead a pretty easy life. I would absolutely hate having to go out to work, and leaving the children with a childminder or something. I like being able to stay at home with the kids, and I couldn't do that without the substantial financial contribution made by my husband.
Your view of the woman's role in marriage is actually the role that was traditonaly occupied by the mistress, not the wife. A man could keep a mistress, if he could afford it, and nothing more was expected of her than sexual favours. The traditional role of the wife is to raise the children, manage the household, and (in pre-industrial days) participate in the family business, if any. Not lead a life of idleness (however much she might like to)
Anyway, once you have kids, the luxury of 'choosing' or not to do housework, cooking etc comes to an end. The children have to be fed, washed, dressed, taken to school, put to bed, picked up after etc, whether you like it or not.
by Louise C on 2005 May 22 - 18:36 | reply to this comment What Would He Do? I can't imagine. What would anyone do if told something so silly? I mean, my husband could say to me "I'm not going to work any more, I'm fed up with it, I'm going to spend all day in the workshop making engines" (which is what he would like to do)
He might "say" so, and he might "like" to do so - but would he, in fact, do so?
MIKE
by a Taken In Hand reader on 2005 May 22 - 23:09 | reply to this comment A misapprehension "Pat" wrote:
You are living an arrangement that suits you and your girl, cooked straight up out of the mind of some self help self appointed expert, but you are puzzled by consensual spanking?
Your premise is incorrect, in that our arrangement is one that was determined by myself without regard to Allen's work (of which I had not heard) or any other such product. Allen entered the picture, by accident, when Mike's Girl discovered that Allen's books were explaining what I had been trying to tell her. This "arrangement" represents, in part, the recovery of traditional aristocratic attitudes toward the institution. That I should be slightly puzzled by mutual consensual spanking strikes me as not at all remarkable in view of my classical orientation toward sexual relations.