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goldie123z のバックアップの現在との差分(No.1)


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This is an issue of integrity, and there is no excuse for a male switch lying to his wife about something so central to their relationship as his sexual inclinations. For you to try and shift the burden of blame onto the submissive wife, who has every right to want and expect a purely dominant man to love, is absurd and hypocritical. Her switch husband is not being 'oppressed' by her submissive desire for a dominant man; rather, they are both being oppressed by his lack of integrity.

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I'm glad you raised the scenario of a married couple, and the disruption this might cause in their marriage; while this is not my own situation, it is an issue worth considering. I have several thoughts on this.

First, I would say that a truly dominant man is not going to suddenly "change" into a guy who's part submissive. If a guy finds out he's a switch, then I'd say he was always a switch - the submissive aspect was just a latent desire that had not yet surfaced. (This is similar to the case with bisexual married men. A man doesn't just 'change' from being 'straight' to gay or bisexual; if he discovers that he's bisexual, it likely means that those tendencies were buried in his subconscious psyche for years. What 'changes' there is not his sexual orientation per se, but rather the dynamic balance of the various aspects and expressions of that; which sides of his sexuality come to the fore at which time in his life.)

So what we're really considering here is a marriage that was entered into based upon a mistake regarding their presumed sexual compatibility - an innocent mistake, perhaps - but a mistake nevertheless. Both he and his submissive wife thought he was dominant, and they were wrong. Now they've found out that he's a switch, and hence not really compatible with her submissive desire for a truly dominant man. So now what? What happens next cannot be prescribed by me or anyone else, because it depends upon the couple in question, as regards their own hierarchy of values, and what priority their sexual compatibility has in that hierarchy. But I can speak for myself, so I'll do that.

Earlier you wrote:
"Let's face it: in the end ALL of this is nothing but a sexy game. Call it what you will, it doesn't put bread on the table, it doesn't put a roof over your head, it doesn't raise your kids, it doesn't save your life when you are sick."