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ATS says: August 12, 2010 at 7:46 am The thing that gets me about certain sex pos feminists who keep insisting that reckless casual sex is good for women is that they consistently refuse to listen to the male viewpoint. Men commenting in this blog, and men I have encountered in real life have consistently said that they value a woman with a lower number of sexual partners for LTRs. And yet it would seem these sex pos feminists think if they repeat their mantra about reckless and rampant sleeping around not being damaging to women amongst themselves often enough, it will come true.
Susan Walsh says: August 12, 2010 at 8:49 am @Chili
Seems like none of us ladies can do it right. Either your number’s too high, or too low, too old, or too young, not pretty enough, too pretty, not smart, too dumb.
I understand your frustration. The truth is, the sociosexual environment is pretty harsh. Women (and some men) are frustrated in their inability to find healthy and committed relationships, at least during college and in the years immediately following. This blog is an attempt to tease apart the social influences that make it so difficult and offer concrete suggestions for improving your chances of getting what you want. It’s also meant to inform – sometimes there is no easy solution, but we’re always better off with more information rather than less, in my view. For women, that means fully understanding what men seek, which pretty much amounts to cues indicating fertility. It’s also important to understand what women seek, which heavily emphasizes social dominance – this can and does get many women derailed, as they prioritize social dominance and minimize the importance of a man’s character. I believe that when things aren’t going well, we have no way of improving our lives unless we understand where we’re running into trouble, or shooting ourselves in the foot. So it’s natural that many of my posts will identify and address those trouble spots. It is a bit depressing, but at least it gives you a way of exerting some control over your own life. You don’t have to do anything – but if you’re not proactive, then you’re bound to be an unwitting victim of the culture. Re all the marriages happening, I agree that’s real. It is true that the marriage rate is declining, but the truth is that most Americans will still marry, though the rates are closely tied to socioeconomic status. I spent yesterday at the Science Museum with my brother’s children, and it was packed with young families. Thousands of parents and children. There is no reason a woman can’t have that if she wants it. She just needs to not waste her youth and beauty on cads. She should also seek out men who are approaching the age when they might consider commitment, 25+. Obviously, that’s impossible in college, but not forever.